Fundamentally, this is the issue that we have been looking at all along ~ loneliness.
"U. S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, warns that loneliness is like hunger, a signal we're lacking something for survival." This is the headline of an article in the Guardian written by Katherine Rowland. Love, he says, is the foundation of good policies and needs to inform the nation’s public health agenda.
Fundamentally, all I ever really needed in life was someone like you who really listened, and really cared and was consistently there for me.
And, I am the same, in that sense as all your other clients ~ they all just need someone who is really there for them.
I could always sense you wished you could do more for each and every one of your clients. Ideally, you would meet someone in need and give them a phone number to call and on the other end of that line someone would say something like, 'welcome to lovebandb ~ which location would you like to stay at?' and there would be a list of practically five star resort spas that they can choose from ~ a place where they can fully rehabilitate. At the moment, such a place does not exist but I look forward to the day when it does.
I am just more consciously aware of how my situation has been affecting me and I'm glad to know that I'm well on my way to a much better experience of life even though I have already started feeling much better. Just about a week ago I recall being out in the city and perhaps for the first time in my life actually feeling safe, safe within I guess. It's like my inner world had been shattered and when I'd get somewhat 'rattled' in the world it's like it would shake up those shattered parts within that hadn't healed.
When we shatter a bone, we get it fixed right away.
But when a heart and mind gets shattered, most people will likely just tell you to 'get over it' or 'get a job' completely unaware that all they are doing is irritating that shattered part of us even more.
Would you tell someone lying on the ground who just broke their leg to 'get over it?'
But someone goes through massive trauma and few can see that they are walking around with a shattered inner world.
Only near the end of my long journey did I actually find perhaps the most important 'modality' on my healing journey ~ someone just like you ~ a true empath with a heart of gold who I have always felt has truly been there for me.
Yes, I did a lot of body work of various forms, did a lot of meditation, went on long walks, spent a lot of time alone in a cabin by the woods and all along, wasn't aware of what was really missing from my life ~ a consistent, truly heart centered person who was able to truly be there for me.
I had gotten totally disillusioned about the effectiveness of therapy having had a very negative experience years ago; you have shown me that it's probably the key aspect for truly healing because if we don't have one other person in the world who we feel can deeply empathize with us, then I am starting to truly question if we can actually really know ourselves, see ourselves, see where we may be stuck, see where we may be doubtful, see where we may feel insecure, see where we are at with how we spend our time, uncover how we really feel about other family members, explore the quality of our friendships. It's almost as though talking with a good therapist is like talking with yourself. You have also validated the fact that no matter how much schooling one may have, they can't learn the art of listening from the heart that you seem to have practically mastered. It reminds me of an older man I know who was a psychiatrist. He said that often they would give their most challenging clients to the social worker, not the psychiatrist. The social worker had the most success in truly helping the most challenging patients.
You should for sure win first prize for best therapist.
It's a fascinating story. It's almost as though I am not sure if I could have completed this long, strange journey that I have been on without you, I'm really starting to believe that I couldn't.
I even recall at one session when you asked if I felt as though I was complete in our work and I noticed an anxious feeling come up within me connected with the prospect of 'losing you'. In a way it made me realize that it's like I just got used to losing people ~ people who would come and go from my life, often people who I really liked and for some reason we just parted ways. I guess that anxious feeling was contemplating the concept of 'losing someone who is important to you'. Perhaps, more than anything it reminded me of how important a person you have become in my life.
I feel so blessed to have you as my social worker ~ all that this world is missing is more people doing the work that you are doing.
I feel as though I have proven one of my theories which is that if you do not have intrinsic security established when you are growing up, you still need it established; you still need someone who can play that role that ideally both our parents had played ~ truly being there and deeply knowing their prized creation.
You are for sure one of the best life guides I have met.
Keep shining,
Here is the article I was telling you about...us-surgeon-general-vivek-murthy-loneliness-mental-health-epidemic-social-media, click here...
Talk soon,
Reuben
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