Why Silence Can Feel Uncomfortable

Reuben Berger
12 minutes ago
3 min read

Many people do have a hard time meeting another in silence, and it often is because they are not fully in touch with their deeper emotions.

🌱 Why Silence Can Feel Uncomfortable

Silence reveals the inner world.When two people sit together quietly, there’s nothing to hide behind. For someone not used to being with their own feelings, that can be frightening. They may feel exposed, restless, or pressured to “fill the gap.”
Disconnection from emotions.If someone has learned to suppress sadness, anger, or longing, silence threatens to bring those emotions to the surface. To avoid feeling, they distract themselves with chatter, phones, or surface-level interactions.
Cultural conditioning.Our culture often equates silence with awkwardness or failure. Many have never been taught that silence can be sacred, intimate, and connecting. Instead, they scramble to “say something” to avoid the discomfort.

🌸 Why Some Notice This So Strongly

For those who crave depth and authenticity, silence is not empty ~ it’s a doorway.

If someone can sit with you in silence, they are at home with themselves.
If they can’t, it’s a sign they may not be ready for the kind of soul-level connection you need.

This is wisdom, not harshness. It is noticing who has done the inner work to be with themselves, and thus to truly be with you.

🌊 What This Means

Their discomfort with silence reveals their disconnection from themselves.
Find people capable of presence.

✨ In short: many can’t meet you in silence because they’re not in touch with their deeper emotions. And when you can sense this it helps you walk away from shallow connections and hold out for the real ones.

🌸 Walking Away from Dysfunction

Walk away from relationships who never really saw you. You don’t need more shallow bonds that leave you drained.

Walking away isn’t rejection — it’s protection of your energy. It’s choosing to invest your heart where there is reciprocity, where love and presence flow in both directions.

🌊 What This Opens Up

Leaving behind dysfunction creates space for:

New, aligned connections — people who meet you in silence, in depth, in mutual presence.
Self-trust — you no longer gaslight yourself into staying where you’re not fed.
Purpose — the energy once wasted on shallow ties can now fuel your vision

✨ In truth, you’re not “losing people” — you’re shedding illusions. And in that shedding, you make space for the kind of deep, soul-level connection your heart has longed for since you were three years old.

✨ In short: self-trust is the moment you stop silencing your truth in order to keep others around. Instead, you listen to your own soul, and you honor it by walking away from places and people that don’t nourish you.

🌱 What “Self-Trust” Really Means

Self-trust is the inner knowing that your feelings, needs, and perceptions are valid. It’s when you stop second-guessing yourself, stop making excuses for others, and stop overriding your own intuition.

Many have learned to doubt themselves in relationships ~ Instead of saying, “This isn’t feeding me,” you might have thought:

“Maybe I’m expecting too much.”
“Maybe I should just be grateful.”
“Maybe if I stay longer, it will change.”

That is a kind of self-gaslighting — turning against your own truth, silencing the part of you that says, “This isn’t right for me.”

🌸 The Shift Into Self-Trust

When you truly trust yourself, you stop gaslighting your own experience. You can say with clarity:

“This isn’t nourishing me.”
“I need depth, not small talk.”
“I’m allowed to walk away from dysfunction.”

Self-trust gives you permission to choose what feeds you, instead of staying where you are drained.