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  • Writer's pictureReuben Berger

Narcissism is a personality disorder

Updated: Feb 2

From my experience and observation of others, clearly one of the biggest issues that seems to cause many some very serious issues in life is the effect that a Narcissist so often seems to have on an empath.

First, it is important to be able to identify if you may be dealing with a Narcissist in one or more areas of your life.

Someone with this condition ~ NPD ~ Narcissistic Personality Disorder ~ is not a 'bad' person, they simply are fundamentally not aware of how their actions/behavior affect others. As more people become aware of this issue, I believe one day there will be special healing centers and protocols to help someone with this very serious disorder/condition.


N Never admits to being wrong

A Avoids emotions and accountability

R Rages if anyone challenges them

C Childish when they don't get their way

I Instills doubt in their victim

S Stonewalls during contacts (stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person).

S Smears and slanders you

I In denial

S Subjects you to the silent treatment

T Triangulates you and turns you down (triangulation is a manipulation tactic where one person will not communicate directly with another person, instead using a third person to relay communication to the second, thus forming a triangle).

I had seen a quote once that seemed to sum up so much of where so many seem to struggle; It said that there are two kinds of people ~ Empaths and Narcissists.

Lindsay Dogson wrote,

  • "Empaths and narcissists are often drawn to each other.

  • This is because empaths have a lot of compassion and understanding to give, while narcissists thrive on someone worshipping them.

  • But this isn't a good match, because empaths tend to forgive everything the narcissist does.

  • This results in them being completely used and degraded, while the narcissist creates more and more chaos."

Empaths are "emotional sponges," who can absorb feelings from other people very easily. This makes them very attractive to narcissists, because they see someone who will fulfill their every need in a selfless way."

"What narcissists see in empaths is a giving, loving person who is going to try and be devoted to you and love you and listen to you," she said. "But unfortunately empaths are attracted to narcissists, because at first this is about a false self. Narcissists present a false self, where they can seem charming and intelligent, and even giving, until you don't do things their way, and then they get cold, withholding and punishing."

From the Oxford language dictionary, a Narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.

The Mayo Clinic wrote the following in the article, 'Narcissistic personality disorder' (NPD) ~ it is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial matters. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them.

There are two kinds ~ Covert and Overt. The Covert ones are the most challenging to recognize especially if you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of having to live with one. If living with one, the patterns of behavior may be so deeply ingrained that you are not even aware of what the issue is.

Some signs of a narcissist include:

  • Grandiose sense of self-importance.

  • Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur. ...

  • Needs constant praise and admiration. ...

  • Sense of entitlement. ...

  • Exploits others without guilt or shame. ...

  • Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others.

  • Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

Rama Awasthi says, "Narcissism is a personality disorder. The person who is living with this does not recognize it. For a narcissist, it is a very normal way of living."

If you discover that you are in this situation, remember that on one level you only have one thought, 'how to get out of it.' This should be your top priority ~ getting out because when an empath is wrapped up in this dynamic with a narcissist it will be very hard for them focus on their life in a serious way. First get out and then heal from it as you enjoy the new found freedom that you'll feel when you no longer are being controlled and manipulated by a narcissist.

If you know of an empath who you suspect may be in one of these toxic relationships, try to help them as best as you can because many who are in this situation truly do need a helping/encouraging hand.

This article is an excellent overview of how to deal with someone who has NPD emphasizing the importance of being sure to take care of your needs in the process...

And the good news is that we are starting to discover more ways to help gently wake up these sleeping narcissists. In some senses, one should at least be confronted and told that they have this disorder. Isn't it only moral to let someone know one of their problems so that they may at least have the opportunity to be made aware of it which hopefully would lead them to do something about it. It's like so many are sleepwalking to the nightmare of their lives and if YOU don't wake them up, then who will. Perhaps the empaths true power lies in finally WAKING UP the sleepy narcissist.

Perhaps the way out is through ~ by confronting the narcissist and having a real conversation about how you really feel.

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